I've been reading Dear Theo - Vincent's autobiography in letters to his brother. His writings are an amazing and intimate look into an artist's mind. I can connect to so much of what he feels. I guess we all can - deciding he wants to be an artist and struggling to learn how and becoming one and even if the world doesn't see it. He does.
"I am just now in a period where my former drudgery has become more of a pleasure. For every week I now make something which I could not make before, and it like becoming young again . It is a splendid thing to look at something and to admire it; to think about it and then to say: I am going to draw it, and work at it until I have fixed it on paper".
At first I could only draw from my imagination. I couldn't (mostly out of fear) draw a real person. Now I surf the net looking for interesting portraits, interesting poses. I see it, I draw it. They don't always come out. I really don't post everything. But the fear is gone. If I junk the drawing, I just think that I'll try it again later. Whether later is the next day or the next week, I'm confident that I'll learn how to do it, that I'll be able to do it. I still have a long way to go and I don't know if I'll ever draw as good as I want to but I do know that it is a pleasure and it feels good.
Now if I can only get that darn cat to eat!
