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This first one is actually 1 of 3 but the other 2 were either too light or dark and not very visible on line. I have to practice to get a better feel on how much pressure to apply before I start using good paper. This paper is from Dick Blick and pretty thin. The prints in the previous post came out really good, just the right amount of ink picked up. But these, well too much ink ended up on the paper.
Trying to work myself out of this feeling of just heaviness, combination of losing Zoe and renovation and the choas that comes with that and the money pit my life has become. So anyway, I tried some monoprinting Sunday night. I surprised myself. They came out pretty ok I think, only they don't scan very well. These are 2 of 6. More to come.
I want to thank everyone who sent me emails about Zoe or left comments. I really appreciate it. I'm going to be off line for a few days. I have to concentrate on Gertie and the bathroom renovations and just plain de-stress.
Here's a few pix of Zoe. She was so sweet.
I held her for a few minutes and then the vet took her away. No more pain.
Zoe is still at the vet. She hasn't eaten in almost 3 days now. She's on IV fluids. The vet says that we should give her 3 full days on the fluids. If she still hasn't eaten then I have to make a decision. I wanted to say I don't want to make a decision, you make a decision but I didn't of course. It's my decision and I know what it is. I left work early to go to the vet and stay with Zoe to see if my being there would get her to eat. When I put her on the floor she just went into a corner and lay down. I sat on the floor with her, I held her on my lap. Every time I moved, she cried. She didn't eat. The vet wants me to take her home tomorrow to see if she'll eat when she's around familiar surroundings. I hope so too but I don't think so.
If she does eat, then she'll be ok for a little while. She has severe kidney disease now and borderline diabetes. It's too much for a sweet little cat whose 18yrs old. I've been saying she's 16 but the vet look it up and she's 18. So is Gertie and she has kidney disease too but she's eating so she's ok for now. To end a life, even when it's the best thing, the right thing, it's just aches you know.
Why can't we protect the ones we love? You think you can but you really, really can't. That's true for lovers and friends and 85 yr old mothers who don't believe in monsters. And for sweet faced little cats. 
Zoe and Gertie both have kidney disease. Gertie's ok but Zoe's hasn't really eaten for the last few days. And of course today the contractor started on the bathroom renovation. Getting ready for that has meant no drawing for a few days and lots of frantic activity and lots of stress. This morning I dropped Zoe off at the vet and $300 plus later, her kidneys aren't doing so great. When I lose these 2 girls, I don't know if I want another pet. I don't want to go through this again. It hurts too much.
But meanwhile there will be much drawing of my little muse. I did about a dozen, here's 2. Many, many more to follow.
It's amazing really, how the mind protects itself by forgetting. I totally forgot about the joy of renovation and demolition. Once again I'm emptying closets and once again marveling how much stuff one person can accumulate when that person has way too much closet space. Really, half this stuff is not going back into the closets. No one, I mean no one knows how much stuff they own until the empty the closets. Those things magically expand. Either that or your stuff shrinks to fit in. And my new bookcases are really starting to fill up there.
Why empty closets when I'm renovating the bathrooms? Well I'm also widening this closet that's in my newly designated studio ne master bedroom. There's plenty of room in the closet but there are 2 walls on either side and they cover a good piece of that closet entrance. So, those are coming out and then 2 sets of bifold doors go in there. That's one closet. Now both bathrooms have linen closets (told you there was too many closets here) and I don't need 2 linen closets. So, the one in the master bathroom is being walled up and then opened up on the other side in my walk in closet (which is in back of this one here) which means I have to empty my walk in closet since it has all all my clothes. So, the only closets where I can hang clothing have to be emptied. So, this weekend I buy a garment rack at BB&B. I'm having so much fun already and the contractor hasn't even started.
I'm off Friday to get quotes on the vanity counter tops. That's in the morning. Afternoon over to IKEA (DBD moaned when I asked if she wanted to go to IKEA again, I told her begging wouldn't do any good) to buy the bathroom cabinets. Saturday to finish emptying the closets and cleaning up. Yes I know the place will be a mess when the demolition starts but I mean I have to clean up before they make the mess don't I? I mean I am my mother's daughter even if I do like to deny it as often as I can. Now can you count the number of run on sentences? And all this is the life part that's interfering with the drawing part of my life.
