My mom died on Monday. She looked more at rest than she had in a long time. We promised her that she wouldn't have to go in to a hospital or hospice but could stay at home. So the hospital bed was in the living room facing the patio window and the blue sky. The morphine and other meds kept her painfree and asleep for the last 2 weeks.
The funeral is on Friday and she'll be with my dad. When they first moved here over 20 years ago they went for a drive. When they came back I said so what did you guys do today? Oh we bought plots. Everything is paid for. Well that's nice. And we bought one for you too. Ok, that's nice.
I think this picture is the last time we ever really got along. But almost every Sunday after my dad died I'd go to lunch with her. And when she didn't want to leave the apt anymore I went there. So when I cry now I think it mostly for me. Her pain is gone. Only now there's no where to go on Sundays.
I'm sorry.
Even when our relationships with parents are difficult, there are still a lot of adjustments to make when they are gone.
I'm thinking about you as you accommodate this new reality.
Posted by: Vicki in Michigan | May 15, 2013 at 01:10 PM
Xoxo. I can relate. Xoxo
Posted by: jane lafazio | May 16, 2013 at 09:58 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss, Janey. Take care of yourself. J x
Posted by: Bela | May 16, 2013 at 05:06 PM
Loss is loss. Period. We each have to travel that road the best we can....and at first it just feels unreal. I still miss my mum and it's been 42 years.
Posted by: Lynn | May 27, 2013 at 01:35 AM